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This is bullshit,
Wanted to eat an apple, but I just cut myself with the knife I was removing the seeds with. Now I'm going to catch tetanus, ebola and cancer whithering away in a couple of fleeting moments of the agonizing life I have left...
I can hear the Doctors are already laughing manically as they are getting rich on the expense of my healthcare insurance...

While I'm doing so, enlighten me with other phrases or figures of speech that you find bullshit so that I don't die in vain.

Thanks in advance, I'm going to enjoy the rest of my apple now...
Post edited February 14, 2015 by Khadgar42
The best revenge is living well .....
"...but Wikipedia says..."
Real men eat tangerines .
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GabiMoro: The best revenge is living well .....
Really? My mother told me the best revenge is to wait thirty years and kill their children. I don't talk to my mother any more.
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Khadgar42: This is bullshit,
Wanted to eat an apple, but I just cut myself with the knife I was removing the seeds with. Now I'm going to catch tetanus, ebola and cancer whithering away in a couple of fleeting moments of the agonizing life I have left...
I can hear the Doctors are already laughing manically as they are getting rich on the expense of my healthcare insurance...

While I'm doing so, enlighten me with other phrases or figures of speech that you find bullshit so that I don't die in vain.

Thanks in advance, I'm going to enjoy the rest of my apple now...
Well good thing I eat an apple whole with my hand instead of cutting them piece by piece with a knife ;)
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Khadgar42: This is bullshit,
Wanted to eat an apple, but I just cut myself with the knife I was removing the seeds with.
Well there's your problem! Eat your apple like a man ( or like a monkey ) and just chomp away at it. None of that sissy peeling and cutting it into tiny slices. :P
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Licurg: Real men eat tangerines .
Can Tangerines cure my common cold I am suffering now :P

I hate sore throats and general lack of stamina, because I feel exhausted.
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Licurg: Real men eat tangerines .
Those are good too.

Or bananas. ( No homo. )
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Licurg: Real men eat tangerines .
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Elmofongo: Can Tangerines cure my common cold I am suffering now :P

I hate sore throats and general lack of stamina, because I feel exhausted.
Try some tea with lemon and ginger maybe? Or some milk and honey.

Oh, and apparently hot sauce is good, but I haven't tried that one. :P
Post edited February 14, 2015 by CharlesGrey
It's all about your mars bar consumption: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE9zAummq7Q&t=23
Post edited February 14, 2015 by wpegg
In Germany we have the saying "Der Klügere gibt nach." (The wiser head gives in.)

My usual response would be "That's why the world is ruled by stupid."
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Khadgar42: This is bullshit,
Wanted to eat an apple, but I just cut myself with the knife I was removing the seeds with.
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CharlesGrey: Well there's your problem! Eat your apple like a man ( or like a monkey ) and just chomp away at it. None of that sissy peeling and cutting it into tiny slices. :P
Well in contrast to all those manly brutes and apes around here I learned a valuable lesson today.
My Knife-Fighting skill just got +1 today, not sure if this is of any use to me, since I'm going to d... oh wait the bleeding stopped.

But while you Neanderthals ate the apple in a such a crude matter I learned to use tools. Sometimes I fail using them correctly but at least I use them, not like you... Pfffff....

And before you ask stupid questions:
Here *CLICK* is the answer why you need decent knife skill even though you can push a button to detonate the nuke
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GabiMoro: The best revenge is living well .....
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EBToriginal: Really? My mother told me the best revenge is to wait thirty years and kill their children. I don't talk to my mother any more.
I love your mother! Hug her for me once you talk to her again.
Post edited February 14, 2015 by Khadgar42
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Licurg: Real men eat tangerines .
Real men have long pinky fingernails to pick the seeds out and avoid cutting themselves with knives.
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Khadgar42: But while you Neanderthals ate the apple in a such a crude matter I learned to use tools. Sometimes I fail using them correctly but at least I use them, not like you... Pfffff....
There you go, doing it all wrong again -- You're supposed to listen to TOOL, no have them prepare food for you.

*goes to level up his poo-flinging and monkey dance skills*
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Elmofongo: Well good thing I eat an apple whole with my hand instead of cutting them piece by piece with a knife ;)
But then you have annoying bits of peel stuck in your teeth, and are picking at them with your tongue the whole day!